January 1, 2021
The Truest Blessing of All
Vayechi, 5781
One of the elements of this pandemic that has been especially heartbreaking is that too many people have been unable to say a proper goodbye to loved ones. Because of the highly contagious aspect of the disease many Covid patients have been physically isolated from family even in their last moments. I remember a conversation I had with one rabbi whose sister tragically died from Covid who expressed gratitude that at least –in contrast to far too many other situations--his sister’s son was able to be with her during the moments when her neshama left her body. Even in his tremendous grief he was so appreciative of that opportunity which has been denied to so many.
The instant when the neshama leaves the body is a moment of tremendous holiness as it is a great merit to be able to accompany a neshama as it crosses over the Yaabok.
The days and hours leading up to the departure of the neshama are also moments of extreme holiness. Rashi tells us in our portion that Hashem rests on the bed of a sick person and thus Hashem is always present near the sick (47:31). Furthermore, the Talmud tells us that until Yaakov no one was ever sick before they died. Yaakov prayed to Hashem that he could become sick before death so that he would have the ability to share final words with his children (Bava Metzia, 87a). These final words or directions of the dying person are incredibly sacred and are attributed special legal status in Jewish law (Gitin 15a).
It is a special merit to be able to bless one’s descendants before death. As it states: “The righteous bless their children as death comes near, for Yitzchak said to Esav, ‘I shall bless you in front of Hashem before I die’” (Tanhuma, Vayechi, 5).
The spiritual power of being present with a dying person appears in both our Torah portion and our Haftorah.
In our Torah portion, as Yaakov’s moment of death comes near he gathers his sons together and blesses them. Immediately afterwards the verse says:
“When Yaakov finished his instructions to his sons, he drew his feet into the bed and, breathing his last, he was gathered to his people” (49:33).
Similarly in our Haftorah as King David’s life comes to a close he calls for his son Shlomo: “When David’s life was drawing to a close, he instructed his son Solomon accordingly” (1 Kings 2:1).
According to our sages there is a gap between what Yaakov intended to say to his children on his deathbed and between what he actually ended up saying to them.
The Torah says:
And Yaakov called his sons and said, “Come together that I may tell you what is to happen to you in days to come (be’achrit hayamim). Assemble and hearken, O sons of Yaakov; Hearken to Israel your father (49:1-2).
According to the Talmud Yaakov had intended to reveal when the ketz hayamin—the redemption—would finally arrive. But Yaakov was unable to do so.
Says the Talmud: “Yaakov wanted to tell his children when the Mashiach would arrive at the end of days (see Daniel 12:13), but at that moment Hashem abandoned him, and he was unable to see the future secrets. He said: Chas Veshalom! Perhaps Hashem has abandoned me because one of my children is a sinner, as was the case with my grandfather Abraham, from whom Ishmael emerged, and like my father Isaac, from whom Esav emerged. His sons said to him: Shema Yisrael -- Hear Israel (another one of Jacob’s names), our father, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One. They said: Just as there is only one God in your heart, so too, there is only one in our hearts. At that moment Yaakov our father said in praise: Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Leolam Vaed. Blessed be the name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever, as all his children were righteous” (Pesachim, 56a).
Since Yaakov’s children were indeed not sinners—as they insisted on proclaiming their faith in Hashem—why was Yaakov unable to share with them the ketz hayamin?
The Talmud does not give us the answer to this question.
One suggestion from the later commentators is that Yaakov wanted to tell his sons the ketz hayamin but wasn’t able to because if the Jewish people would indeed know how long and bitter the exile is then they would never be able to withstand it. Only by believing the redemption is near are we able to withstand it (Pe’er Yaakov).
A second suggestion is that when Yaakov saw all the trials and tribulations his descendants would go through before the Mashiach would arrive he became sad. As a result of his sadness the Shechinah departed from him as one cannot commune with the Shechinah when one is sad (Tiferet Shlomo).
Another possibility—and the answer that most resonates for me--is that Hashem removed Yaakov’s ability to tell us when the redemption would arrive because knowing the moment of redemption is from a spiritual perspective a piece of information that is a dangerous distraction. Our lives are supposed to be lived in service of Hashem at all times in an effort to bring about the redemption. Knowing the moment of redemption could divert us from our holy efforts to bring about the redemption. It is therefore spiritually dangerous and exceedingly unhelpful to know in advance when the redemption will arrive, as we would then passively wait for it to arrive. Our responsibility is to work everyday in order to bring about a better world and not simply to sit around and wait for a utopian world to arrive.
Since Yaakov was unable to tell his sons when the redemption would arrive, he shifted his message. He could no longer reveal the ketz hayamin, so instead he gave each of his children blessings. As the verse states: “[Yaakov] blessed them, each one according to the appropriate blessing” (49:28).
But the blessings Yaakov gives them hardly seem like blessings and also hardly seem appropriate for a deathbed.
All of the blessings don’t seem especially great, but the first three stand out for their harshness.
Yaakov first says to Reuven: “Unstable as water, you shall excel no longer; for when you mounted your father’s bed, you brought disgrace—my couch he mounted” (49:4).
He then says to Shimon and Levi: “Let not my person be included in their council, Let not my being be counted in their assembly. For when angry they slay men, and when pleased they maim oxen” (49:6).
Rav Shlmo Wolbe (1914-2005) in his classic work, Alei Shur explains why Yaakov’s words to his sons are truly the greatest blessings in the world.
“The blessing of Yaakov to his children lay in the fact that he revealed their core characteristics. To Reuven he revealed that his greatest weakness was that he was not stable. For this reason Yaakov distanced Reuven from the leadership positions of kingship and priesthood. Someone who is unstable is not fit to be a leader as terrible mistakes can happen. So too for Shimon and Levi, Yaakov gave them advice about how to distance themselves from each other so as not to cause each other to stumble….
The greatest blessing that Yaakov gave to Shimon and Levi was in telling them their weakness and their bad qualities. This is a tremendous blessing. For if one recognizes their own defects it is possible to save oneself from making major errors.”
Levi must have heeded Yaakov’s advice because even though Levi received a harsh message from Yaakov, Levi’s descendants went on to be the leaders of the Jewish people for all eternity -- Moshe and Aaron and their priestly descendants.
In other words, Rav Wolbe is telling us that the greatest blessing is to be able to tell a friend or a relative the truth about something very important so that their friend can improve themselves and become great.
This is why these blessings take place at the deathbed of Yaakov. Once he realized that he couldn’t reveal the ketz hayamin, he turned to teaching his children how they could work on themselves to bring about a better world. Speaking to them with the clarity and honesty of a person with absolutely nothing to lose—a person on his deathbed—Yaakov focused on telling them how to improve.
In the words of Rav Wolbe quoting the Vilna Gaon, “In the days of the prophets, one could travel to a prophet and the prophet would be able to tell each person their core traits and how they could improve. ‘The essence of your soul is such and such. Go and work on this.’ Today we no longer have prophets who can reveal these truths to us. Therefore we need to study our holy writings like Shulchan Aruch and Mesilat Yesharim in order to recognize the essential qualities we must work on.”
The answer of rav wolbe to this question is very instructive—the truest blessing is to tell someone the truth so that the person can improve. Who else can speak with truth with such clarity except a person who is in their last moments?
This is why King David tells his son, Shlomo, in our Haftorah: ““I am going the way of all the earth; be strong and show yourself a man” (I Kings 2:2). King David then goes on to say some very unpleasant things to Shlomo. He tells him that he needs to act decisively and firmly. At its core it is in line with the type of message that Yaakov gave to his own sons. They are both in essence saying, “I am going to tell you things that are not pleasant but they are necessary to your future success.”
The greatest blessing in life is to have self-awareness of our own strengths and weaknesses and to have the desire to work on them in order to improve.
In the end this is why Yaakov chose Yehuda as the future leader instead of Yosef. Yosef was the favored child who did not make any major errors. Yehuda was but the fourth child of the less favored wife and he made dramatic errors. For example, he participated in the sale of Joseph and he impregnated his own daughter-in-law, Tamar.
But what Yehuda did have is self-awareness and a desire to improve.
Rabbi Norman Lamm once wrote a Devar Torah comparing Yosef and Yehuda. He writes that Yeudah starts off as the imperfect person compared to Yosef who is the prototypical perfect person. But today we are no longer in the tribe of Yosef. All of Israel that remains—all Jews today—are from the tribe of Yehuda. “What [Yehuda] teaches us, and what every true leader must understand, appreciate, and have experienced himself, is—that willful, purposive improvement of character is possible; that it is not impossible to transform one’s initial personality and change it for the better. It is not only not impossible –it is absolutely mandatory” (https://archives.yu.edu/gsdl/collect/lammserm/index/assoc/HASHfdef.dir/doc.pdf page 6).
May we all be blessed to hear blessings from our loved ones in the same way that Yaakov blessed his own children! And may we all be blessed to improve ourselves in the same way in which Levi and his descendants improved themselves. And if we do that then, like Levi, we too, may merit descendants that walk in the path of Moshe and Aaron.
Shmuel Herzfeld
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You can now watch a Youtube recording of Rabbi Herzfeld’s D'var Torah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym8Ee4QaSQM&feature=youtu.be
